Bugs

I don't like creepy crawlies.

It's not like I get freaked out over 'em.
But they do disgust me.

Mightily.

Over the past few weeks, I've been noticing a few creepies around my apartment. And the incidents seem to be increasing each week...

Usually, I simply find a sandal and quickly squash 'em to death. And then dispose of 'em.
But it annoys me that I have to do this.

Again - I DO NOT like creepy crawlies.
I know they serve a purpose in nature and all that - but they can serve their purpose outside my apartment thankyouverymuch.

Ugh! Blech! Urk!

Working short handed...

We had six call-ins today.

Six.
With a heat-wave passing through the region, I kinda figured it was gonna be "rough" today anyway... but with the call ins ... man! Heat stroke, chest pains, MI, severe dehydration and others ... you name it, we got it.

At times I was tackling 10 patients at a time.
And I'm just a rookie!!
If it weren't for the expert (and often silent) assistance of my preceptors and colleagues; I'd have never made it through the day! I'm SO in awe!! There's a couple of 'em especially that... someday... y'know... if I ever become 1/10th the nurse they are; I'd consider my nursing career in the ER a success.

Cool.
Collected.
Know everything.
Seen everything.

Can do anything...


Wow! And I mean "WOW!"

Feeling hot hot hot!

Was a rather hot day today and it's only gonna get worse over the weekend.

I suspect a rash of AMI/heat strokes to pay us a visit.

Only gonna get busier...

Gallows Humor

911 Doc over at MDOD made a post about the O sign, the Q sign and the dotted Q sign.

Reminded me of this list:

Most of the definitions on the following lexicon of medical slang appeared a few years ago in the National Lampoon. Some of the definitions are funny. Most are sick. All are used in respected hospitals.

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BOBBING FOR APPLES: Using the finger to unclog a severely constipated patient.

F.L.K.: "Funny-looking Kid."

F.L.P.: Parents of an F.L.K.

CRUMP, GORK, VEDGY: A patient requiring intensive care, incapable of movement, and apparently unaware of his surroundings.

HORRENDOPLASTY: A difficult and time-consuming operation.

BAG, BOX, COOL, STIFFEN, X: To die.

CROCK: Hypochondriac.

MARRIAGEABLE MONSTER: A young female patient who has successfully undergone major plastic surgery.

GOMER: A senile, messy, or highly unpleasant patient.

FASCINOMA: A "fascinating" tumor; any interesting or amusing malignancy.

DROOLER: A catatonic patient.

CUT AND PASTE: To open a patient, discover that there is no hope, and immediately sew him up. Well, almost immediately. Sometimes young surgeons practice surgical techniques for a while first.

FOUR F-ER: A gallbladder patient. "Fat, forty-ish, flatulent female."

PINKY CHEATER: Latex finger cover used in gynecological and proctological examinations.

ROAD MAP: Injuries incurred by going through a car windshield face first.

A HOLE-IN-ONE: A gunshot wound through the mouth or rectum.

THE "O" SIGN: The letter O as formed by a patient's gaping mouth.

THE "Q" SIGN: A patient giving the O sign with his tongue hanging out.

THE DOTTED Q: The "Q" sign, with a fly on the tongue.

SIDEWALK SOUFFLE: A patient who has fallen from a building.

LOOSE CHANGE: A dangling limb in need of amputation.

BULL IN THE RING: A blocked large intestine.

GONE CAMPING: Reference to a patient in an oxygen tent.

EATING IN: Intravenous feeding.

BORDEAUX: Urine with blood in it.

SCRATCH AND SNIFF: A gynecological examination.

ANGEL LUST: A male cadaver with an erection.

HIT AND RUN: The act of operating quickly so as not to be late for another engagement.

CAPTAIN KANGAROO: Chairman of a pediatrics department.

ROOTERS: Indigents and hangers-on who gather in big-city emergency rooms in order to be entertained by legitimate cases.

SHORT-ORDER-CHEFS: Morgue workers.

LOOP THE LOOP: Flamboyant surgical rearrangement of the intestines.

BUGS IN THE RUG: Pubic lice.

HEY DOCS: Alcoholics handcuffed to wheelchairs in big-city medical wards who, at the sight of a white coat, bleat out in chorus, "Hey, Doc!"

BLOWN MIND: Gunshot wound to the head.

ICING ON THE CAKE: Lethal tumor discovered in the X-rays of a heart attack victim.

THE GARDEN: Neurosurgical intensive care ward, so called because of the "vegetables" found there.

BOOGIE, GOOBER: A tumor.

THE DEEP FRY: Cobalt therapy.

ROASTED GOOBER: A tumor after intensive cobalt treatment.

HEALTHY GOOBER: A dead patient.

BURY THE HATCHET: Accidentally leaving a surgical instrument inside a patient.

SILVER GOOSE, SILVER STALLION: Proctoscope.

SQUASH: Brain.

GAS PASSER: Anesthesiologist.

CRISPY CRITTER: A patient with severe burns.

There! I just gave away our trade secrets! :-p Y'all got any more additions?

And as usual there were some folks who couldn't:
1. Read
2. Take a hint

... and complained about what a bunch of evil, uncaring bastards we were.

Meh!