Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

--At lunch, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

--Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

--Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

--Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'in'.

--Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

--In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

--Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

--Don't use punctuation

--As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

--Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

--Sepcify that your drive thru order is to go.

--Sing along at the opera.

--Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

--Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

--Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

--Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

-- Get on the elevator & insist that everyone call you "Admiral."

--When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won!"

--When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!"

--Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".