Saturday, October 6, 2007

Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

--At lunch, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

--Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

--Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

--Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'in'.

--Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

--In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

--Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

--Don't use punctuation

--As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

--Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

--Sepcify that your drive thru order is to go.

--Sing along at the opera.

--Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

--Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

--Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

--Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

-- Get on the elevator & insist that everyone call you "Admiral."

--When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won!"

--When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!"

--Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".


Lord Higham-Johnson said...

The hairdryer one is really neat but the difficulty is getting one which approximates the radar gun. Fortunately, Braun produce such as that.

Anonymous said...

"In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds"."

When getting my hair cut I used to right "for head job." The girl who cut my hair said the folks at the bank got a kick out of it. When I moved the guy who cut my hair didn't find it amusing.

Now with the use of the ATM that fun has gone away.

Jaime said...

I personally like the kids at the dinner table one lol ;)

NocturnalRN said...

You are so silly. Thanks for the entertainment