Stuff White People Like

I about wet my pants laughing.

NOTE: It is 'humor' of a different kind. Not for the overly sensitive or bashful. It's definitely not PC. Don't say I didn't warn you...

D minus 11 and counting...

March 14th, 2008.
My last day working my soul killing job.

I need to haul ass and start cleaning up my apartment ... and stuff. But I just don't have the motivation ... for now. I just want to relax, take a deep breath, catch up on some sleep.

But yeah, it was like a huge weight being taken off my shoulders. Actually manage to smile and be cheerful at work these days.

And in other news, I met someone who kinda said and did something that totally made my shitty week seem less shitty. Stay tuned for that story...

The 2 weeks from hell

Man! Shitty assignments all around. Really sucks at work right now. My ass is dragging trails in the snow.

Plus the two teeth I did my root canals on last December have been hurting like a son-of-a-mother. I've been popping Motrin like crazy. I can't get an appointment at the dentist sooner than next month (perfectly coinciding with what I anticipate to be my moving time to my new job. Super!)

The last time this happened, I had a colossal infection in my gums and needed 3 weeks worth of antibiotics to clear up. I am really not looking forward to a repeat episode...

Not that it makes any sense - I thought when you did a root canal, the root is desensitized - permanently. How the hell can it possibly hurt there, I'll never know.

All I know is that even a sip of "below room temperature" water sends shooting streams of agony throughout the jaw and the right side of my face ... and this being winter, I can't even let cold air hit that side of my face. I've been warming everything up and tilting my face to the left and drinking/eating in small morsels at a time.

Bah! I can't eat. I can't drink. Hell, even breathing cold air through my mouth hurts.
Tooth aches and ear aches suck! Suck! Suck! :-(

I'm beat. I'm back tonight for another 12 then I'm conking out. I'm gonna turn my phone off this weekend and go on a real bender. I hurt and ache in places I didn't know existed.

Woo Hoo! Go me!

I got that ER job I was looking for.

It's in a different state, so I need to transfer my license. And while that's going on, I'm still going to continue working (hey! I need the money!)

It means I have to re-locate (again!).

But it also means I won't be working my soul-killing, strength sapping job anymore!

My charge nurse was absolutely devastated when she found out I'd found a new job. Guess the old saying "you don't know what you've lost till it's gone" is true after all! Now if only they'd appreciated my work all along, this might never have come to pass. Oh well!

I feel a twinge of guilt for leaving some of my work buddies behind. I'll miss them.
I'm a little nervous about moving - will I make it? Will I be able to hack it?

Truth be told, I'm sorta looking forward to it. It's been kinda lonely here in the boonies.

Why the hell didn't I do this sooner?

I updated my resume on Monster.

Within like a day or so, I have concluded 4 different interviews for jobs ranging from ED to ICU and OR. I even spotted an opening for a flight nurse out in Juneau, Alaska!

Left me scratching my head - why the hell didn't I do this any sooner? I was so dumb for sticking with my stressful, deadbeat job. For some stupid reason, I wasted months trying to change departments in my hospital - never occurred to me to look elsewhere!

I think I just overcame my resistance to moving again (I've been here just a year and half). Health and sanity won out over temporary comfort and aversion. Besides, I've been thinking about it - I need to go back to school and get my masters (or beyond!) I need to get cracking - or life's just gonna pass me by.

No time for losers, You make the call
Believe in yourself, Stand tall!
Another day, it's in your hands
You can be the winner, in the end.

Keep runnin' don't look back
Keep movin' paint it black
Keep goin' don't ever stop
There's time to rest the day you'll drop
-- Klaus Meine, Mark Hudson

Ciao! Of to watch the Sabres game I recorded on DVR (whilst I was busy making sure confused old ladies with new hips didn't injure themselves falling out of bed).

A Day in the life

Whoooooooooooooooa!

What a WEEK!

Tuesday noc (noc=night)- 16 hour shift. 7 patients (6 post-ops + one confused/agitated, non-restrained patient). One tech.
Wednesday noc - 16 hour shift. 7 patients (3 post ops + 2 admits + same confused dude). NO TECH!
Thursday noc - 16 hour shift. 7 patients (5 post ops + 1 admit + still same old confused dude). One tech (who is so useless, might as well be considered NO tech!)
Friday noc - 12 hour shift (I was scheduled for an 8). 6 patients (5 post ops + confused and now "combative" dude). NO TECH!


And to top it all - we have no "charge nurse" for night shifts.

So.

Anyway.

Tuesday night was the first time the Day Shift charge nurse (we have charge nurses from 7a-7p) handed me the "charge nurse phone and keys". Floor nurses carry pagers and narc keys ("narc keys" are used to unlock PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesia = patients get to push a button when they think they need some pain medication and a pump set up within controlled parameters delivers medication as needed) pumps. Charge nurses carry a phone accessible by anyone and from anywhere in the hospital and special set of keys (for elevators, supply cabinets, sure med, crash cart alarm unlock etc).

Turned out to be a good thing too. Because we ended up having to call a "Rapid response" (instantly call upon an RT [Respiratory Therapist] and an ICU nurse with standing orders and leeway to treat patients) on a freshly admitted patient from PACU [Post Anesthesia Care Unit ... where folks who've just had surgery are stabilized before being sent up to the surgical floor] - who ended up becoming "unresponsive" just as she was being wheeled out the elevator to the floor.

Wait, it gets better. I marched over to assess situation. It was tense, but we were handling it... but I had an uneasy feeling about the whole deal. Clinically, the patient was in "distress" but my gut was sending me all kinds of funky signals.

So now, of course; patient chooses to slip into "unresponsive to pain" status....
Lovely!

R-Triple-D! {Army talk for "Really-Deep-Doo-Doo}.

Called a Code Blue. Ran over and dragged the damned crash cart all the way across the floor and by the time I reached the floor, RT and the ER doc were there. Hung around to document till House Supervisor showed up (poor girl, was already tied up with a Rapid Response on medical floor!) Handed over charge to her and then raced back to pass meds on my post-op patients (Antibitiocs, HS {HS= Latin for 'Hora Somni' = bedtime} meds, Accuchecks {checks blood sugars} and HS insulin) all the while fretting about my confused dude. Mercifully, he was confused and naked but apparently had decided to stay put in bed for the moment.

By the time I got done with all this, my code patient had been successfully intubated and revived. I arrived just in time to see her being wheeled down to ICU.

Naturally - this left me playing catch up all night long. I don't know how I managed, but I managed to stay on top of patient care (while neglecting charting) till I could tape report.
Ohhh, did I mention that I had to go to a staff meeting at 0730 in the morning? And at this TWO HOUR (#*&&*^Y$) staff meeting, we were literally "read" power point slides. What a colossal, monstrous waste of time! Did they really think we couldn't read from handouts? What is this, grade school??!! Here I am, atleast 2 hours of charting ahead of me, wasting time listening to this nonsense! &*!^&$@!#!

I managed to stay awake through charting and somehow drove home. I don't remember what I ate (or if I ate at all! I was beat!) but I do remember that I couldn't sleep - damned lawn mowers kept me awake!

I finally managed to sleep 3 hours - and I was back that night.
Other than the fact that there was no "code" or "staff meeting", my night was a repeat of the night before. Too many sick patients, not enough staff.

Once again, dragged myself home.

Thursday night, post 4 hours of sleep. Not entirely bad - except for one of my post op patients who has some kind of weird fixation with his Codeine allergy. Pt. is a fresh Total Knee Artho (total joint replacement of the knee), with a measly Femoral block in place running Ropivacaine 0.2% @ 10/hr. Naturally, he starts complaining of pain into the noc. I try to convince him to take the MSO4 (Morphine) PCA as ordered. He refused - along with refusing the Dilaudid, Fentanyl and Toradol. He became infuriated with the "scheduled" med times and proceeded to fling a book across the room in anger, called me an "good for nothing, idiot SOB who doesn't know a thing in the world", threatened to leave AMA and/or sue/complain about the hospital and his "substandard level of care".

He wasn't thinking rationally nor clearly. He wasn't altered mentally in anyway - but it was patently obvious he had received little to no pre-surgical counseling (and given his surgeon, I was not surprised!) or he was a general insufferable idiot "know it all" (or a combination of the two).

I was close to blowing a fuse myself, but somehow maintained control, managed to calm the pt. He ended up calling the surgeon's office in the morning and lodging a personal complaint! Long story short, I made sure I documented the heck out of that incident and made sure I had collaborating evidence of my numerous attempts at making him "try" alternative medication for pain control (along with supporting statements from other floor nurses).

During all this time, did I mention the fact that I had 6 other patients? Including Mr. ConfusedandIwouldlovetoclimbouttabed ? Who did, end up rupturing one of the lines in his dual lumen PICC thanks to his constant meddling and poking?

Dragged myself home. Got about 6 hours sleep. Back on Friday noc.
Thankfully had "just" six patients. 3 post-ops and 3 others. One tech to stay with mr. confused.... which meant no tech for the floor. But I didn't care. Had to go down to the CCU (Critical Care Unit) and insert a foley in a patient and set up a CBI because apparently none of the nurses there (nor the house supe(ervisor)!) knew how to set up a foley with CBI (links to a PDF document) infusion! Most bizzare!


That's about my story of the week. Just had to get it off the chest.
Been super stressful.


Oh - and work wanted me to consider "coming in for 4 hours to cover 7p-11p". I practically told them to 'shove it' (politely of course!)

What it is....

I've been a fan of Mark Knopfler and "Dire Straits" for longer than I can remember.

In fact, Dire Straits' album: "Making Movies" - was the very first rock album I heard (even before "Dark Side of the Moon").

I've always appreciated the songwriting/storytelling nature of their work (e.g. Private Investigations, Telegraph Road, Tunnel of Love, News, You And Your Friend, Local Hero, Single Handed Sailor, Brothers in Arms etc.)


What/who was the first artist you remember listening to as a youngster (an artist you have formed a life long affection for?)

Rage Against The Vending Machine

Dear Designated Outside Contractor Food Supplier:

I must give you high marks for the excellent selection of above-average foodstuffs in our cafeteria. The portions are sensible, the service is wonderful, and the prices generally reasonable, except when it comes to snacky bits. $1.25 is not market rate for a bag of M&Ms. A brace of PopTarts at $1.29 is overpriced by almost 40%. This sort of madness drives me to our building's vending machine emporia... which in turn are driving me to madness, and to authorship of this screed.

Who is the crack-smoking numbnuts incapable of competent repetition in the maintenance of a vending machine?

I'm not talking about keeping the damn things online (although the snack vendy just around the corner from the cafeteria is suspiciously "out of service" frequently). I'm also not complaining about the slings and arrows of outrageous Fort.: the bag of chips stuck against the glass, the HoHos clinging, mockingly, to the wire spool exp'lled them. These are merely the manifestations of bad karma which we all experience, the dark cloud which only reveals its silver lining when additional coins are inserted to knock free said HoHos with the resounding thunk of a descending MilkyWay bar. Satisfaction, and twice the snacks.

No, my complaint, thunderous, and my indignation, righteous, is aimed at the methadone sampler whose job is simply to restock the machine with snacky bits and change. Let us start with the change, for as everyone knows, change is good.

If it were me, which it is not, I would value every snack in multiples of 25 cents. Acknowledging that candy prices have risen ridiculously since I was a lad*, surely chips could be 50 cents, candy bars 75, and the Big Hangover Cures (PopTarts, Pound Cake, Danish) a dollar. This sort of price management would mean Quarters-only change. The US Quarter-Dollar being the only reasonably sized and weighted coin o' th' realm, it makes sense to only stock the change mechanism thusly. But no. This being The Big Fancy City, you will have your premium, won't you? 85-cent candy bars. Now you have to involve dimes and nickels... hell, why not just invite the pennies? Or do you have a problem with coins of color?

Having all this Numismatic Affirmative Action going on just results in a bloated system* filled with jams and errors. Many times I have found the vendy on the second floor demanding exact change. Many times I have been so craving a Twix that I have crammed in a dollar bill, here, take it you fiend, keep the extra 15 cents, it's worth it! And been denied. Then there's the fifth floor vendy, which simply lets the dimes fall through, like a hot lesbian sitting alone in a bar. "Nope," says fifth floor vendy, "you can go. My candy is not even for sale."

And that's even assuming the stupid labels are right. I've noticed they're on a little wheel... so that your Depleted Uranium Cranium simply has to turn the price to match the price programmed into the machine. Why then, do the vending machines take on a slot machine air when I buy my Butterfingers? Why is the price 85 cents on one day, and 95 cents on another? Sure, one day it was 45 cents, but that was the day I helped the old lady cross the street AND I think someone else just forgot their change. Probably because they were injured bashing their skull into the glass in frustration.

While I'm discussing labels, why is the burden on me to determine the row and number of my selection? The cafeteria machine, you know, the one that rarely works? Several of the labels are missing... specifically E3, F5, and H0. And why is there a "zero" column, anyway? Are you planning a Vending Expansion that will jeopardize your supply of positive whole numbers? Or are you just showing off your integers, but think negatives would be audacious?

The fifth floor vendy even has some labels misapplied. Yes, I should be able to deduce F3's position between F2 and F4, but it has a E3 sticker on it and goddamn it, I eat out of vending machines... I'm probably hungover and need coffee. Throw me a fucking bone! There is nothing less savage than spending your last 85 (?) cents on a 3Musketeers, only to be rewarded with Good N Plenty.

Why does bottled water cost more than soda?

Isn't water a component of soda? Doesn't it cost more to process that water, add cancerous qualities and caramel color to it, and bottle it under pressure? Whither the price of sugar? Doth it not be high?*

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I've got tears in my eyes and an achy stomach from laughing so hard.

Read more "Best of Craigslist..."

The Dark Knight...

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. Batman, the Dark Knight 71% Captain Jack Sparrow 67% Indiana Jones 67% Maximus 63% Neo, the "One" 58% The Amazing Spider-Man 54% Lara Croft 54% James Bond, Agent 007 46% The Terminator 46% William Wallace 42% El Zorro 33%

Heh. Just so happens that he is my favourite (yes, I spell favourite with an "e") super-hero.
He's all human.
He's flawed.
Hence why he's completely believable.

Might come in handy someday...

Nicht es?